Happy 1st Year Anniversary!

Wow. 1 year. It's not the longest relationship I've been in. But definitely the best. 1 year filled with happiness, sadness, disappointments, drama, anger, bliss, excitement and love. 

I'm suck a lucky person to have you in my life. I grew up and became more mature thanks to you. You give me hope and confidence. And without a doubt, you make me a better person.

So for everything, thank you. I can only hope I can give and return to you, what you've given and done for me. Hopefully, I'll have the rest of our lives to do so. :)

I love you.

Putting in effort.

You said I didn't try. Well, I did try. And I am trying.

Amazingly enough, it happened today. Even though it's one day late, I talked to my parents. My whole family (excluding my younger brother) actually.

From now onwards, there's so much to do. So much preparations to be made.

So we need to be patient for now. But in time, I'm sure we'll get what we want.

You Don't Know What You Got Till It's Gone.

Sometimes, I wonder how I am as a person. I always think about all the good things I've done for other people. Actually I do it so much that I tend to forget the bad things I do to them and the good things they've done for me. They say nobody's perfect. Well, I couldn't be further from it.

I had my birthday celebrated a few times this year thanks to my family, friends and of course, her. Definitely the best birthday by far. It was amazing. And I realized how unfair I've been to everyone. They've done so much for me and I've been so unappreciative and I haven't really been giving much to return their kindness and generosity.

You keep saying "you deserve better" but the truth is, no. I don't. We deserve better. Especially you, sayang. You've always supported me, believe in me and tried to make things better. I was so stupid for not really realizing and acknowledging the fact that you did try and put so much effort into us. I'm sorry for that.

I told you that we're perfect for each other. I don't think that's accurate. Though I hope I will be. Someday. Because you're perfect for me. 

You complete me.

"I want a trade. You can keep my heart. In exchange for your heart."

We’re good with each other. We’re good to each other. We’re good FOR each other.

About 8 months ago, I was determined not to have anyone “special” in my life so that I can concentrate on myself. Then… I met you. Everything changed. I was so infatuated and crazy about you even though I barely knew you.

Now, I can’t imagine what I would do without you. You make me feel confident, smart, special, and the list just goes on and on. Most importantly, you make me happy.

I remember recently I accidentally said out loud that I thought you’re my “partner”.  Then I explained that I meant we were partners in crime. But the truth is, I said that because I hope and want you to be.

For the rest of my life. Forever.

I love you. And I always will, no matter what.

Things Change

Originally, this was suppose to be a happy and cheerful post (unlike most of my previous ones). But one small thing which can be so insignificant and trivial to others, just made things go upside down for me.

It was a bad day. Someone made me smile. Even that changed. 

I can't take it anymore. I'm not just gonna sit around while people take advantage of me. I'm done.

Everything's fine though. At least I have my motivation back.

NO MORE.

Excuses

I don't know how many times I've said sorry. But I guess that's just how I am. Always making mistakes and then I say sorry. 

I hate it when you're sad. Especially if I'm the reason why you're sad. Please stop. 

I didn't mean to hurt you by being hurt.

I hope you're ok.

Stupid. Just so... Stupid.

It's kind of funny how people are capable of doing awful/cruel/horrible things, even to their loved ones. Actually, no. It's not funny. It's stupid. And childish. I wish I could take it back. All of it. 

No one can help me with this. This is something I have to do by myself.

No amount of apologies is gonna make this guilt go away.

And I know that. But again, I'm sorry. You deserve better.